Today was a big day. I came out to my mom today.
I had originally intended to do it yesterday, and after my errands, I went over to my folks', and I just couldn't do it. My dad was there, and I'm not really ready to talk to him; he's just such an enigma when it comes to things like this. It just wasn't the right time, or the right situation. I left, feeling worse than I have in a long time, and came home and cried my eyes out. Tomorrow for sure, I told myself.
So tomorrow comes (that's today, for those who are following along), and I got about ready to walk out the door to go over to the folks'. I called, she was unavailable, she called back, and I told her that we needed to have a conversation about something pretty important, and that it would probably be difficult. She came over, and I started reading her the letter I had written. I was crying the entire time. Two typewritten pages take a long time to read when you can't speak too well from being choked up, and also when you can't see all that well from the tears in your eyes. I knew there would be a bunch of tears, but it was me who spent the whole time crying, and she was the one who was comforting and supportive. I half expected it to be the other way around, for some reason. After all, I've come out to several people already, and it's gotten easier every time I've had that conversation. For her part, she said she wasn't really all that surprised, and the thing she was most sorry about was that I've had to face this for so long by myself. She also said that she was more upset about the sorry state of my apartment (which, yes, is quite tragic) than about what I told her. Levity is always good in tense situations like that.
So, wow. My mom totally rules. She surprised me, and made me really happy that she's my mom. So I guess, hey mom, it's a girl!
dead trees give no shelter
2 hours ago