Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Another new person

Tomorrow, I'm going to my friends' for dinner, which isn't necessarily remarkable in itself. Miss Trinity is making another foray into the world, which is cause for cheering. But the big deal this time, is that there'll be another person there, one who I don't know very well. She seems a pretty open person, and she definitely knows what's going on, so I'm sure it will be ok. But that doesn't seem to stop the dive-bombing butterflies in my tummy. To say that I was panicked, would be something of an understatement.

I've been halfway to tears for most of the afternoon and evening, because of tomorrow. I know this is completely in my head; I'll be with people who love me, and everything will be completely fine. But it's just that fear of the unknown, combined with my anxieties about myself, that are doing some kind of number on me right now.

It's just when things all pile on top of each other that makes me go completely crazy like this. There's so much going on in the next week: two coming-out talks, one of which is to one of my family, and one, possibly two, new people or groups of people who will see me in girl mode.

I probably won't sleep very well tonight. I probably won't sleep very well for the rest of the week.

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