Friday, September 12, 2008

Well bummer!

It's been a nice week so far - two femme outings in two days, including my therapist's office yesterday (which went well, and we had a very helpful discussion). Unfortunately, though, my usual Friday outing to C&E's house is interrupted this week. Here in Houston, we're currently awaiting the arrival of hurricane Ike, and C offered his house for a group shelter, which I gratefully accepted. It's not that I think my apartment is going to blow away or anything, but with weather like this, it's a lot less stressful to be with other people, just in case anything bad happens. Unfortunately for me, he has invited some other people to shelter there, many of whom don't know about my trans nature, so it looks like my three-in-three week just crashed.

One of the things I've noticed, the more I get out there in girl-mode, after I get over the anxiety of being laughed at or whatever, is how comfortable I feel. I can just relax and be me, and not have to worry about anything. That's the whole point of this odyssey, of course, so I guess we're finding out that it's working. I just have to get over that anxiety, and that's most of what my therapist and I talked about this last session. I'm also finding that I'm almost looking for excuses to get out there in girl-mode too, which I didn't exactly expect. It doesn't really surprise me, but it's one of those little details that most people probably wouldn't think about.

An interesting, amusing note: I was ma'am'ed at the grocery store this morning, from the side, and while I was presenting male. It's usually from the back, and they usually get all flustered when they realize what they have apparently done. She didn't though; she just sailed on ahead and wanted to make sure everything was ok for me, which I assured her was true. She had plenty else on her mind - it's crazy-shopping today, with everybody getting last minute water and canned foods for the hurricane - so she might not have even noticed what she said.

As the hurricane nears, many friends on the net have asked if I'm safe. Yes, I am as safe as I can be in this situation. I will be with other very capable people, in a solid building, pretty far away from the shore, in a place that doesn't flood. My apartment complex does not flood either, and my unit is in the middle of the building, so there are plenty of solid walls around me. I have water and food for at least a few days, and a couple different means to cook, and a full tank of fuel in my car. If things get really bad, I am also armed. I also have insurance, so if my apartment does blow away, or a tree falls on my car, it will be ok anyway.

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