Yesterday was interesting. I had been talking with K about him coming to visit on Friday, and mentioned that I usually go to C and E's for dinner, and that he should come along. I had, however, neglected to mention that I go there in girl-mode on Fridays. Slight oversight. Oops.
Momentary giggling ensues.
I told him about this as he was about to leave, and he didn't have too much to say at that point, other than he had "some questions about that." Fair enough; we hadn't talked about it at all since I came out to him, and he's had almost two months to wonder just what the heck I was talking about. So he appeared as I was finishing making myself beautiful, and he didn't really bat an eye. Once we walked outside to get in the car, my usual anxiety had all but disappeared, which felt great.
Everything was completely uneventful. We visited, and ate spaghetti, and watched a hilarious old Bill Cosby standup routine from cable-on-demand. I was laughing so hard at a couple points, there were tears coming to my eyes. During a couple of the funniest spots, I almost felt like I was going to burst into tears; I surely didn't expect that, and have no idea where it came from. But everybody had a really good time. C eventually booted us out, because he had a bike ride this morning.
On the drive home, I asked K what questions he had for me. They were simple and innocuous, and I answered them as best I could. He asked one of the questions which I always expect to hear, but never do: are you into guys? No, I said, I like girls, but sexuality and gender identity don't really have much to do with each other anyway. He also said that if I answered the phone in my girl(ish) voice, he wouldn't recognize me. Which is fine, I suppose. I countered by telling him that it will be a learning process for everyone, to learn not only my new name, but a new set of pronouns, and getting used to hearing a new voice, and seeing a different-looking person when I'm around. It seems like he's still processing all the new stuff, so I'll just be patient with him.
Today, I was supposed to go back over to C and E's, where S was doing sushi night. C called at around 4:30 to say that they were getting things going, but by then I was having to prop my eyelids open. I said I'd be along in a while, but then realized that I had no chance of being anything other than a lump. So I messaged to say I wouldn't be coming, and took a two-hour nap. I felt like a complete bitch for doing it, but it wouldn't have been pleasant for anyone had I gone.
After all is said and done, it's been a really good weekend. Life is good.
The Collapsing Empire
1 day ago