Friday, June 12, 2009

The good, the lame, and the painful

When the week started out, it seemed like it was going to be Week of Coming Out. Three coming-out conversations in as many days, wow! As the days wore on, well, lots of things sort of fell apart. Tuesday, I was able to have a talk with another of my coworkers, J, and he was mildly surprised, I think, but said that he's known another person who's transitioned before. So that worked out really well.

Just before lunchtime on Tuesday, another of the group asked if I minded his tagging along with J and I for lunch that day, and I said with a smile, "kind of, yes." That sort of ran the whole conversation straight off the rails; it was actually pretty funny. Once the first guy had his laughs and walked away, one of the other guys was curious about my "top secret lunch". I offered to give him a top-secret lunch of his own on the following day. He'll get one eventually, so now is as good a time as any, I reasoned. Wednesday lunchtime came, and he had something else going on. Thursday lunchtime came, and he'd apparently forgotten about the whole thing. I'm sure I'll have to make the suggestion again. He's a few years older than me, and he's pretty laid back, so I'm pretty positive that he'll be fine, though I'm guessing that he'll be more inquisitive than the other two who are in the loop.

Thursday, I was all set to come out to a member of my gaming group. We play way up on the north end of town on Thursdays, and it takes 30 or 40 minutes to get there. Alone in the car, time on our hands - about as perfect a time to have such a conversation that I can imagine. Well, he had to work late, and was really tired when he got home, and I got going kind of late, so we ended up not even going. Which means, of course, that we didn't get have our talk, either. I think he, like my coworker, has probably forgotten about the important conversation that I told him we needed to have. Next week, for sure! No, really, I'm serious. Serious Trinity is SERIOUS.

Ahem.

So, another thing that did happen this week, earlier today, in fact. I went for the first of my new laser hair removal treatments, on the bottom half of my body - legs and bottom. Oh. Em. Gee. I thought the upper lip was painful during my facial treatments? Child's play compared to some spots in this latest treatment. The treatment itself lasted a little over two hours; while the nurse was able to zip along pretty quickly with the laser probe, there was a LOT more area to cover. Once she got to the, erm, areas with lots of nerve endings... holy socks. And yaay, I get to do this two more times. Experience has taught me that subsequent treatments are never as bad as the first, but still.

Despite the initial pain, and the lingering discomfort, I feel a great sense of accomplishment. I decided that I wanted to do this, and I got everything set up for it, and I did it. Sometimes that feeling is hazy and amorphous, but in this case, it's very clear and definite, and I think it's almost even more important to me than the actual physical results of the treatment. Not to discount those, certainly; the experience is already helping me feel better about my body. It also seems to reinforce that I shouldn't be afraid of changes. Changes are what my whole journey is about: changes toward making me a happier, and more comfortable, and more "whole" person.

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