Monday, June 1, 2009

(Not) Getting it done

As exciting as the last few weeks have been for me, and as much as has happened, I think I have run out of steam. Or maybe it's simply that I have important things on my notional to-do list, and I'm not having a whole lot of luck in actually doing them.

I had a chance to talk to another person at work this past Sunday, but it just didn't feel right, so I didn't say anything. With this particular coworker, it may not even be important, because s/he may not even be at the company for much longer. Even so, I always beat myself up whenever I have a chance and a perceived need to come out to someone, and don't. There are a couple other people at work who I'd like to talk to, but I'm not sure how I'll get things arranged.

The other two phone calls I need to make, are still yet unmade. For one of the people I need to contact, I need some photos of myself, and with the impracticality of getting my friend's help, that task has now fallen to me. Portraiture, particularly self-portraiture, is certainly not one of my strong suits. And the other, well, I sent an email on Friday, but I have a strong suspicion that the email address that I found on the website never actually reaches anybody. So I have to call. And that's putting myself so far out there... I'm having trouble.

And then my best friends will be away for a little over a week, starting this Friday. I'm not sure if they quite realize how important they are to me, and how terribly I will miss them.

I guess I should try to focus on the positive, rather than wallow in self-criticism. I'm in the process of making a dress to wear at the wedding of a couple of my Second Life friends. So far, I've gotten partway through making a test version, both for testing of the pattern, and for seeing how things fit. With another few hours of work, I can be mostly done with the test, and begin doing fit-checking and making plans for the real version. It took me a while to get motivated, but now that I'm working on it, I'm able to find some joy in simply creating something new.


laanba said...

I have not one, but TWO, count them, TWO digital cameras. Wait, that isn't right. I also have a compact camera. THREE!

I can help with your pictures or let you borrow my Rebel XT if you would like to use it.

Of course keep in mind that I don't do portraiture either.

Jubilant said...

Don't be too hard on yourself sweetheart. You've come a long way in a short time. You've been very brave, too. *hugs*

e said...

some type of picture is better than none at all. :) how about glamor shots? jk i know your nervous about the other two calls, but they need to be done. i expect you to have at least tried to call the voice place before you come over tomorrow.