Friday, July 24, 2009

Grrrr...

So right now I'm experiencing a measure of what I'm guessing PMS is all about. I talked with some of the girls I know in Second Life, and they all said, yes, that's about how it is. It's certainly not the best thing in the world.

Yesterday on my bus ride home, I was suddenly struck by such a wave of anger, I could not wait to get off and away from all those people. It really surprised and concerned me. Where did it come from? Who was making me so upset? Surely it couldn't have been my hormone levels, since my dosages have remained the same? Or perhaps my body reacts to them in a cycle of some sort, of which I have been unaware up to now. I spent most of last night wanting to tear into somebody, or take the mutes off my drums and wail on them for a while. All my aggressive feelings made me wonder if my male parts were trying to reassert themselves in some vain attempt. I just didn't know what was going on.

Today, I've got a low headache and I feel like I'm about to burst into tears at any moment. I feel ugly and awful and disgusting. I don't think I slept very well, because I looked very tired as I was getting ready for work this morning. As I was driving to the park and ride, I decided that I just couldn't deal with people today, so I went back home, and am taking a sick day. I'm just reading and taking it easy, and I'll probably have a nap in a while.

I guess the part that worries me so much is the speed with which it came on, and the fact that it seemed totally unrelated to anything that was going on around me. This is totally new for me, and it's not a little frightening. Talking with some people who had a better clue what was going on definitely helped soothe my fears. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel a bit better?

No comments: