Sunday, March 7, 2010


I'm up at some dumb time of the morning because I can't sleep due to the pain. Pain medication can only take me so far, but it seems that the rest I must simply bear. Most all of my dressings have been removed at this point. The only things that remain are the nose splint (which will be removed on Monday) and the pressure garment which I am to wear as much as is reasonably possible over the next month. My throat is parched to the point at which it is very difficult to swallow due to the pain, and this headache has become a constant companion.

My concern now is whether I'll be able to make it. Sleep is very, very optional. C seems to be quite peaceful next to me, snoring away, mocking my inability for relief. I want to take something heavy and wake him up, so he can join me in my agony.

I just want this all to be over.

My tear ducts still work fine.


laanba said...

Hang in there. You can make it! I admire you. I am not a fan of pain and completely scared of hospitals and doctors. What you are doing is the stuff of my nightmares yet look how far you have come. Look how far you have come in your LIFE. Just a few more steps.

It is always darkest before the dawn.

Jubilant said...

Awwwwwww, sweetie. If I could take away the pain I would. I just woke up from pain myself and it s*cks. *holds you while you cry*

Udge said...

Yeah, what laanba said. I wish you ease and comfort. It will pass, and you will be in a different and better place. Keep your eyes on that.

I'm awed, truly, by your courage and strength.

K said...

this is a difficult time for you. you knew it going in. just keep imagining this is a necessary event for where you want to be. you have been VERY good at coming up to a difficult situation and plowing through it to get closer to your goal. I know you will get through this just as you have everything else in your journey. just one day at a time, and let C do what you aren't yet ready to do yourself.

cant wait to see you next week.

E said...

We're here for you all the way. just keep up the good work at healing and the pain will be something in the past that you will not remember. If you have to, go ahead and throw something at C - he's used to it with me and the three kids. :)