Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Not going to be That Girl...

You know the one, she posts "OMG, I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating my blog very much lately, I promise that I will post all the time now!" And then she doesn't? I'm not going to be her. I'm just going to post when I have something to say, and if that turns out to be infrequently, then I just won't make a lot of posts. That doesn't mean that I won't beat myself up about it a little bit, it just means that you won't have to read about it. I'm looking out for you, dear readers.

I'm in a pretty serious transitional period right now. Funny, I thought I was all done with the transitional periods, now that most of my gender transition stuff is done. Not even close, it turns out.

All this new transition started with the loss of my job back at the end of May. My first thought was, of course, "not again", since my last period of unemployment lasted some seventeen months, and was, in a word, difficult. But that feeling of stress and loathing started to give way to something else. Something more positive. A feeling of relief. I didn't have to go back to that job anymore, but I also didn't necessarily have to go back to that career anymore. And, after a lot of thinking, I've decided that I will not. Next week, I start at culinary school, in the baking and pastry program.

It is said that the average adult changes her profession four times over the course of her career. This will be change number two for me. First, I was a programmer. Then, a system administrator. Soon, a pastry chef. After that, who knows? Restauranteur? Teacher? Maybe something even more different.

My new direction has me so excited for my future. I feel like I'm finally taking control of my life, and not settling any longer. The radical jump feels pretty... radical, but there is so much more potential for happiness, for me, in this direction. This has become my new mantra: always move toward happiness. There is so much discord and unhappiness in the world, and there has been so much in my life, that I've had enough of it. I will be the change that I would like to see in the world (thank you karmatic1110), and live my own example, and I will try to increase my happiness every day.

But as big and exciting as that is, that's not the biggest new thing. I've recently begun seeing someone. I had all but given up on even the possibility that I would find someone ever again, but managed to meet someone anyway. So far, we've been out six times, and things are going fantastically. I'm usually pretty private about my relationships, and I think I'll continue that for now, but I did want to at least mention it, because it's extremely positive, and she's a person who is bringing a great amount of happiness to my life.

Toward happiness!

1 comment:

Agatha said...

Glad to hear that Trin! Stay happy :)